John Carter

John Carter has finally arrived on the big screen exactly one hundred years after Edgar Rice Burroughs published The Princess of Mars - the novel which kicked-off the entire John Carter adventure series that takes place on the titular red planet. The series has a huge following and is often called the granddaddy of science fiction but with a vast complex universe of Martian geography and characters (many with four-arms) it was declared unfit for a feature length film.

So why now? One word: Avatar.

Due to the unexpected success of James Cameron's Avatar - now the biggest film in the world with a worldwide gross of $2.78 billion - it is understandable that Disney might want a piece of the action. And so John Carter was a logical go-to project. The similarities between Avatar and John Carter are numerous: a vast alien world, a gruff American soldier, very tall aliens, outstanding mo-cap and a plot ripped-off from Pocahontas.

Unfortunately, whilst there appear to be lots of similarities on paper, John Carter is a very different film.

Avatar worked because it was a mainstream film disguised as science fiction. Cameron wrote the screenplay so it could be marketed to everyone: action scenes for the meat-heads, a love story for the girls, an environmental message for the hippies, a military allegory for the thinking folk and lots of in-jokes for film fans. It had mainstream written all over it. That's how you break box-office records.

Meanwhile, John Carter is a fantasy film disguised as science fiction. You therefore get serious-looking people in silly-looking costumes, warrior princesses wearing very little, ridiculous names which are therefore instantly forgettable and lots of unexplained magic. As such, it is far from a mainstream experience.

The problem is, director Andrew Stanton does not have the freedom that Cameron enjoyed with Avatar because John Carter is an adaptation. Therefore, Stanton has to honour Burroughs' source text and that involves staying faithful to a lot of story. A complex plot may be perfect for a literary adventure serial where it has room to breathe and develop. But cramming that much story into two hours was never going to work.

Stanton gives it his best shot anyway but consequently loses his audience from the get-go. The film opens with a narrative voice-over, then a pre-credits sequence, then a framing device whereby Carter's nephew inherits his diary, then an extended flashback beginning with Carter's life as a disgraced Civil War deserter and there is even a dream sequence involving Carter's wife and daughter. And all of that takes place before he has even been transported to Mars and all the crazy names start flying around. Quite frankly, it is exhausting.

To keep all of this plot afloat, the audience are submitted to scene after scene of talking. You almost want to sue the trailer people for false advertising because John Carter is far from the white-ape-fighting melee that you were promised. This isn't mindless brawling popcorn-fodder. This is a story and Stanton is determined to see it told properly. As a result, you will be fidgeting in your seat long before you get to the white-ape arena ruckus.

All of this is a huge shame. No doubt, many a film fan wanted this to be a success, solely for the reason that Andrew Stanton - one of the Pixar Brain Trust - was sat in the director's chair and making his first move into live-action.

In many ways, Stanton can hold his head high. Having created the seabed of Finding Nemo and the dystopic wasteland of WALL.E,  Stanton is no stranger to designing a whole new universe and his Mars does look stunning (although a desert planet will never rival the flora and fauna of Avatar's Pandora). Also, there are few more qualified than Stanton in bringing to life computer-animated characters. The four-armed Tharks hold their own against Cameron's Na'vi whilst Carter's alien 'puppy' is a scene-stealing delight. Plus, Stanton's talent for generating humour in unexpected places surfaces from time to time, such as Carter's repeated escapes from the cavalrymen or a comedy head-slap from Tars Tarkas after Carter leads them to the wrong city.

Taylor Kitsch can also walk away from this undamaged. As Kitsch plays the only Earth character for the majority of the film, he isn't bogged down with the exposition and awkward dialogue that brings down the other actors. Kitsch injects enough charm and dry humour into John Carter to save him from vanilla territory. The montage of his first steps - another great touch no doubt thought up by Stanton - is played brilliantly.

But neither Stanton nor Kitsch can re-write Burroughs' source material (although Stanton should have tried) and that it where the fault lies. Some stories are best told in printed form, especially fantastical adventures with this much scope.

One hundred years was too soon for a John Carter film.

★★